I'm often asked to retell a dating disaster just to give someone a giggle which is because I've been on dates with Mr ex obsessed, Mr still in love with his ex or Mr singing All About that Bass by Meghan Trainor! Safe to say my friends could be right... I have some of the worst dates or dating history! So much so my best friend got me this 'Litte Miss Goes online dating' as a joke for a Christmas pressie! But... some of the story rings true! 

My friend can sense a red flag way before I've even said a "hey" sometimes and I always think to myself 'can we not just give this one a chance?' but no sooner have I thought it that the red flag presents itself and my friends right! Again!

I guess you're right

"Would you like to go on a date?"

The question we like to hear on a dating app, the chance to meet someone, a spark of hope for a hopeless romantic like me and then comes no originality after you accept "great, lets go for coffee" 

Wait? What?

Another dreaded coffee date, the baristas in Tim Hortons or Del Pieros probably assume I've a revolving door of males in my life the number of times I've been on first dates in their establishments, or well for a coffee! Is coffee a date? When I don't even drink it? People have asked me before why didn't I suggest something else? But everytime I did it was rejected with "a coffee is quick" so I slowly gave up. 

For about 3 months I said YES to every date invitation for a couple of reasons! I struggled to say no, (that swiftly changed) and 2 because I like giving people chances. I believe you could click in person if not the best online or vice versa! Click online and not in person which seems to be the norm for me... 

Below I've written the ones that really stand out for me and I've used their first initials instead of names.

1) My *first ever* date consisted of M struggling to find his wallet in his jeans back pocket (don't ask how) for about 4 minutes whilst in the queue, I'd already ordered, paid and was sat sipping my coke when he finally found it, before this though he told me we were going somewhere nice... KFC! 

Vegetarian Mads Mikkelsen GIF

Which would have been fine if only I wasn't a vegetarian and eat there! He then started singing 'All About that Bass' by Meghan Trainor and doing the Rush hour Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan car dance whilst we were sitting at a table! And before anyone asks... he was not joking around!

jackie chan dance GIF

2) First impressions were great, S was lovely then after an hour of talking constantly about his ex I asked him if he was over her (obvious he wasn't) to which he replied "I'm in love with her, I'm not ready to date but.. this ice-cream is lovely" 

awkward

Him: "Would you like to go out again?"
Me: SURE! I'd like to... (remember I said I struggled to say no?)

3) R seemed pretty nice only he spent 1 hour talking about how close he was to his ex, how much he would always love her like a sister but occasionally cuddle in bed, that they would always remain close. I said all the right things.. that's nice! That's lovely... till he told me he'd last slept with her the night before our date... which I didn't need to know. Only a first date.. not exclusive. It was the whole "love her like a sister" but that sent red flags my way! 

5NbDIOS

4) I met J at the Belfast Museum, this was our second date! There were these amazing clothes on display and a fashion exhibition I wanted to take photos off to blog about... but he complained, gave me a funny look and walked away from me whilst I tried to take more pictures but then I lost my interest and just stopped when he kept making me feel really uncomfortable about the things that interested me in the museum. I didn't have the heart to tell J there was pizza in his beard and I was in pain from an injury so needed to head home to rest when I was in the middle of telling him I'd had a lovely time BU" - he popped his lips on my lips cutting me off whilst I froze unmoving for what felt like minutes but only mere seconds as he holds his lips against mine then pulls away, smiles a big smile and skips! Actually skips across the road... he never liked to text less it was on a day we were meeting (I only met him twice) and I never heard from him again after he skipped away.. I messaged him a week later saying I didn't think we clicked but wished him the best and he agreed... but honestly! There was no signals or warning he was wanting a kiss...

kiss


5) I met (I think his name began with a C - oops!) in a Cafe Nero, he seemed alright until he started talking about if I'd be into tying him up, handcuffing him and publicly humiliating him as well as getting more people involved! The two old women beside me heard the whole thing and one choked on her coffee. I quickly said I had to leave as I was meeting my aunt and he offered to walk me to her house to which I declined. He then stood outside the coffee shop and watched me for a few minutes. I ducked into Savers and thankfully when I came back out he was gone but I rushed to my aunts close by just to be on the safe side!


6) I'd had a really nice time with M, we went for drinks and for a walk. He told me wanted a relationship, and to take things slow and insisted he pays for our drinks. I even accepted his invitation of a lift to the bus station as my feet were killing me in my new shoes. He was on his phone when I was buckling my seatbelt in the front of his van when he set the phone down and started the engine we were just on the road when google started talking "Hotels close to your location" I just looked at him and he laughed saying "I don't know why that happened but.. we could look some up" he then sighed, huffed and dropped me off at the bus station! 

what? Alison Brie

7)  I really liked this guy and spoke to him for quite a few weeks before meeting. Every time it was suggested or planned something came up with him but when we finally managed to lock a date down I was pleased! I met him and things were great, he went home to England for a week then came back and we went on a second date for a couple drinks then he invited me back to his house for a drink and to talk (I accepted as it was only a drink) but then told me he loved me, had always loved me and couldn't go a day without me... after I told him this was far too soon and freaked me out he ghosted me! 

Say What? Run

I think it's true what my sister says! I have problems with second dates or that things start becoming clearer and mens true intentions reveal themselves after a second date! Or even it could be the type I attract! For whatever reason, I am thoroughly done with online dating for a while... (hopefully)

There are plenty more online dating tales I plan on spilling right here so be sure to subscribe or follow on Instagram to keep up to date! 

Do you have any dating disasters? Let me know in the comments below! 
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